“Mom, Bob and I are going out tomorrow night and Rosellen is coming over to stay with you”
her face softens
”oh okay, she is such a sweet girl”
”I agree, we are very lucky to have her”
I don’t leave Mom alone anymore. Well, that is not entirely true, I have. I have run to the grocery store or post office if she is settled in her chair. But it’s a short trip and I’m a nervous wreck the whole time. For the most part though, I stay home with her or I take her with me wherever I go. When I do have the opportunity to attend an event that doesn’t interest Mom, or that she is unable to participate in – I have found the perfect solution.
Rosellen!
There is so much talk about teenagers and young adults these days that is not always positive. I work with teenagers and young adults and I believe most are good just like I feel most adults are good. Some students (teenagers/young adults), however, stand out from the others. To emphasize this I must tell you about an extraordinary (so understated) teenager/young adult that mom has developed a very special relationship with.
I may have mentioned some of this in an earlier post, I apologize if it is repetitive, that appears to always be the theme around here.
Last year I wanted to take a class which was on Thursday nights for 8 weeks and I was trying to promote this evening class to my students…
”would anyone be interested in taking a bee class (raising honeybees) with me?”
There was some interest and there was a little discussion about the bee class. I clarified that my attendance was contingent on finding a mom sitter, and I was half kidding, half serious.
”if you don’t want to take the bee class with me , would you want to watch my mom while I take the class?”
I didn’t expect an answer. I didn’t really think they were listening. I continued with class.
”I can watch your mom.”
Rosellen came to me after class and stated quite simply.
“I can watch your mom”
I was so surprised that someone responded and so pleasantly surprised that it was Rosellen.
The best analogy that I have about leaving mom is when you leave your child with a babysitter for the first time. You want to get out but you are also still concerned about the well being of your child. You check on them several times by calling the sitter. You know what I mean. Those of you with kids know the feeling. That is how I felt leaving mom with someone too. Don’t get me wrong, I want to go out. But I take care of mom the best. Will someone else care for her the same as I do? There are some things that I think mom could be embarrassed about so I would want someone to be discreet. What if she falls? What if she chokes?
We planned a meeting with Rosellen. She came over with her mom to meet mom. (great family, I have had most of her siblings as students and I loved them and I loved her mom immediately.) Rosellen’s grandmother had lived with her for a while before her passing and so Rosellen was quite familiar with the concerns that I had about leaving mom. She understood and reassured me about everything I brought up and her mom also reassured me about Rosellen’s abilities. Rosellen talked to mom, made sure she knew that it was all about her, she asked her questions and sincerely listened to moms answers. I felt very good about the meeting.
We all agreed that it was going to be a good arrangement. That was a year ago.
I took the bee class and I also raise honeybees now. More importantly Rosellen was interested in continuing coming to stay with mom if I were to go out.
I’ll text Rosellen to check on her availability. I really don’t go out very often, maybe once every six or eight weeks, really. Sometimes she is available and other times she isn’t, but either way it has been a fantastic arrangement for all.
Rosellen arrives and cheerily greets Mom
”Hi Mrs. King, I haven’t seen you in a long time how are you?”
You know how you can see so much in people’s eyes, well Mom is easy for me to read through her eyes and I see her eyes brighten as she responds to Rosellen.
”oh, I’m pretty good”
Rosellen is there for mom in every way. She never acts like mom isn’t capable of anything but instead she builds moms confidence.
They have developed the sweetest relationship. Mom looks forward to seeing Rosellen. I know because I see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice when she knows Rosellen is coming over.
Mom will “wait up” ( asleep in her chair ) for us to get home, which is cute.
“I’m afraid I wasn’t good company for her tonight”
Rosellen looked at me and looked at mom and smiled
“yes you were, we had dinner and we chatted a little and we watched a little T.V., it was fine, you only fell asleep the last hour”
….and they hug good night.
Raising Mom 